[12:20am]… 

I am still sitting in front of my night-time companion (my computer) and not willing to go sleep….  Many “breaking news” came to me as I was “flipping” facebook pages to see how friends are doing.  Some of my fellow ARCE classmates changed their careers (and most of them are the smart guys that I know), some of my primary classmates in HK gathered together and had a great time (which I missed out), some of my friends are engaged and getting married…   I can sense the excitement of others going through different life stages. 

At the same time, some thoughts flew by my mind as I reflect to look at myself:  great short-term-missions, awesome; a new job, cool; exam review session started, not too exciting but a step forward; upcoming study at LA, challenging, etc…  There has been quite some changes going on, and things move too fast that I didn’t realize I am up to where I am.  But wait, what am I doing with my busy life?  Just this week, I wake up at 7:30am everyday and back home by 9:30pm or later…   Working/studying like 10+ hours wasn’t what I expected, yet I am doing it, definitely not for fun, and it seems tired and pointless. 

Why do I have to live such a harsh life while many others are enjoying life around? say my housemate is having his easiest quarter ever and playing videogames and not doing much all day long, some others can go back HK and other exciting places for a fun summer/winter every year while I’m burying myself by endless work and study either at workplace, school, or home… Afraid to face the consequence of falling behind, I strike on pushing myself and aim for advancements.  But why do I need to be what I am?  Why can’t I just be like others to live on an easy-going life?  Or maybe it’s just a temporary tough transition for me to get over, at least that’s what I hope for. 

Probably it’s my current packed schedule drives me crazy and confused my mind.  I am confused, angered at myself, and feeling tired (which I used to think myself enjoying “busy life”).  I need some good rest and have a more clear thought of what’s going on…

Need sleep now!   [1:10am]  good luck for me waking up early in the morning…

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